she's getting here as fast as she can.

I've just been thinking for a while, why is it so hard for me to get a girlfriend, when around me so many guys are all being snapped up? do I have too high standards? too fat? too stupid? not romantic enough? too desperate? too ugly?

It could be all that and more.

or maybe, just maybe, God is paving the way for me to be the man I have to Be for my perfect woman. cos when I meet her, it will be just normal. just like meeting anyone else. but as we get to know each other, as we get to where we have to be where love blossoms, as we become the person we need to become for it to work, God will be working in our lives. in her life. in my life. and when god decides that we're finally right for each other, he will let love blossom in our lives.

sometimes I tire of waiting for God. but i know deep down that just anyone won't work. He's got that special someone waiting for me. and though the world may say"he/she's the one" I believe that the truth behind it is that God knows who the one is for you and me. and when god allows it to happen, it will be amazing.

many times, I've rushed ahead. decided to love someone who wouldn't, couldn't reciprocate. and each time I got burned. and yet i didn't learn. and I tried my hardest to make it work. and it always failed. 

I do have someone I care deeply about now. but with this friendship, I will not rush ahead. I cannot. I must allow God to work, make room for him in my life. to show me, to take me where he wants to lead me. Because his plan for my life is more exciting, more awesome, more extravagant than anything i could ever imagine. and I want that.

Sometimes, I get tired of waiting for her to get here. but then i remember, She's getting here as fast as she can.

God's reply

"He who finds his life will lose it, and
he who loses his life for My sake will find it."

MATTHEW 10:39

a few days back, i posted about something. god replied in an email to me:

Each time you lose a part of your life, you will find Christ's Life is right there to fill the void. Every single time. This is a spiritual truth, and there are no exceptions to the rule. Think of what it means. The more I give to Him, the more He gives to me. I trade in my life in exchange for His Life.

Which would you rather have? Do you want your life, your failures, your mistakes, your frustrations, your sins? Or would you rather give that up in exchange for His Life? You can have either one you want, but you cannot have both.

Leaving, never to come back again?

they were my replacement family. i was the cool older brother, who sometimes got them into trouble, but was always there when they needed help, or needed a ride.

for 7 years i grew with them, until i left, and was then kind of an outsider. but they always welcomed me back like i never left. until they didn't. 

my family wasn't really all that close, but we accepted each other, for all the flaws, mistakes and such, and grew together. until we didn't. and they didn't want me around anymore.

and then this week came another "we don't want you around anymore".

just like my first family, they decided they have had enough of me. and just like an old toy, they discarded me like so much trash.

I guess I should be used to it by now.

I guess I should just let it all go.

when someone doesn't want you around and you're still there, it just gets weird.

I grew to love this second family of mine.

but they said "go away, and stay away".

and deep down, I know they'll always be a part of me. right down to the very core, they would be the ones who taught me how to hold on to God in every circumstance, to look to God for guidance, to pray and never give up.

but nothing is forever. and they moved on without me. and i'm left behind with nothing but echoes and misty memories of days past.

I look to the future with hope, to the past with regret, and to the present with remorse.

now i see them having fun doing things, and i search the photos to see where i am in those events, but then i remember, i wasn't there. because no one invited me. and when i found out about it myself, they told me not to come.

i'm better off just staying away, because seeing them, it just breaks my heart.

God, i need you now.

its so hard.

this song pretty much sums it all up.

When you're dreaming with a broken heart

Then waking up is the hardest part
You roll outta bed and down on your knees
And for a moment you can hardly breathe
Wondering was she really here?
Is she standing in my room?
No she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The giving up is the hardest part
She takes you in with her crying eyes
Then all at once you have to say goodbye
Wondering could you stay my love?
Will you wake up by my side?
No she can't, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

Now do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands?
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hands?
Do i have to fall asleep with roses in my , roses in my hands?

Would you get them if i did?
No you won't, 'cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone....

When you're dreaming with a broken heart
The waking up is the hardest part

building

am building my #7, not a strat this time, its PRS Santana body style, but a CE22 type neck, bolt on.
one difference is i'm using 5 bolts instead of 4 to secure the neck, and also am gonna glue it in(set neck). should technically do wonders for the sustain, will update you guys later when its done.
Body is using Nyatuh/Nato wood, flamed aa grade.
Neck is a 5 piece flame nato/walnut/flame maple/walnut/flame nato 5 piece, with joint at headstock.cos if it breaks from a drop can easily just glue it back.
Feel of the neck is raw, ibanez prestige wizard styled thickness..
Fretboard is Macassar Ebony.
the body has just come back from spraying, havent had time to sand it down and apply buffing yet. just wanted to try out my 5 bolt system and fit the neck.
also put in a set of dunlop straploks which you cant see cos i countersunk them. which means it'll have to be used with straploks alone. 
(this feature was inspired by warrior guitars...)
List of things to be added:
1.Planet Waves Auto-Trim Machine Heads
2. Ebony or rosewood trussrod cover
3. Dimarzio Humbucker from Hell at neck, Dimarzio Paf Pro at bridge
4. Dimarzio 500k Pots, 3 way selector.
5. Wilkinson 2 point strat styled Bridge
6. Dunlop 6110 fretwire
7. Bone Nut
8. Roller Saddles
9. Danish Oil+Beeswax finish to the neck.

how to forget it all

i build guitars. and teach music.

its a passion. and a calling. and damn fun!

building a set neck guitar, #7 Joshua Custom. Neck's like a ibanez Prestige, but with prs style headstock. my favourite. ebony fretboard.

#8 is gonna be a strat, # 9 is gonna be a EBMM Styled one ebony fb and maple neck, # 10 gonna decide later....

tomorrow pictures. 

some random story.

What is happening in the picture?
Why did it happen?
If you were in that room, looking at the scene, and given one hour, what would you do, and why?

the picture depicts a teenage girl lying inert in a living-room.

she is lying thus because her soul has been sucked up by the television in her living-room. this is part of an insidious alien invasion. we have not been aware of it, but while we were sleeping last night, aliens switched every tv in our homes with these evil soul-sucking devices. DON'T TURN ON YOUR TV WHEN YOU GO HOME TODAY! not unless you want to suffer the same fate as this poor girl, with your soul trapped in the TV and your house wide open for the aliens to take over.

if i were there, i would get the *toot* out of that room before the TV sucked my soul out too. then i'd turn off the mains, thus deactivating the soul-sucking TV. then i'd get some tools and dismantle the TV, thus hopefully releasing the girl's soul and bringing her back to life. then we'd go on to help others and in the end we'd save the world from the alien invasion.

this might need slightly more than an hour, lol.=D

The End

thats what sieh jin ( http://siehjin.blogspot.com/ )wrote.

now heres my story.(for you dumbasses please note that this is a work of fiction)

Two days ago, i came home to this sight. A total stranger lying on the floor of a home completely alien to me, at the exact location of where my house used to be.

the only thing i recognized about the interior was the colour yellow, in that i was familiar with the colour, not that my house was coloured yellow in any way. It made the place look wider and warmer.

i dont like warm.

I just ignored the person and went up to where my room should have been. and found that everything had changed, with my music studio transformed into a painting studio, and my bedroom transformed into an ikea advertisement.

somehow, i was drawn to the bed. next thing i knew, i woke up today. 2 hours ago i came downstairs to see that the scene in the living room hadn't changed a bit. there was still a body, lying 3 feet feet-first from the 21" CRT television which was built into the cupboard. there was an xbox (i never owned an xbox) on the shelf below it, along with what appeared to be a dvd player. to the left there was an immaculate armchair, in a pale cream colour, which appeared yellow due to the sun's unceasing glare.

there was a, old stained mahogany desk and chair set facing the glass sliding doors, on which the organized clutter overflowed tidily. A moderate mantelesque waist-shelf displayed pictures of a loving family, reinforcing that the pictures did not belong to me.

some books and a pair of tarnished silver candelsticks held no attraction for me, the pine wood floors just adding to the general warmth of the ambience. A straw woven mat, probably handmade by child laborers in pakistan lay snugly on the floor below her.

a recumbent bike stood in a side of the middle of the length, reminding the observants that laziness can also extend to exercise. a cushioned wooden armchair, with its back to the sliding door, allowed for an evening of comfortable reading, with the position catching the last of the suns rays on the back of the sitter.

i smiled.

she was sleeping just the way i used to in form six all those years ago, with my head rested on my right bicep. curled into a fetal position like i do when cold or scared from a nightmare.

she hadn't put away her brother's little wooden cart, which he loves to drag behind, trailing him full of little playthings which he pretended were heavy and that he was a strongman like in the city we saw one day with him on my shoulders.

oh, how i loved her at that very moment.